This is not fiction. It is pure, unscripted reality and greatly contributed to my pre-existing social anxiety.
Spoken with intent:
“ I have an idea, why don’t you go pick-up that toolkit over there, grab the hammer, and bash yourself over the head around – I don’t know? 7 or 8 times?”
Not a tinge of regret. I do believe they were pushing a stroller with a smiling tot inside.
No eye contact, a sideways glance, an awkward chuckle:
“ I don’t know what these are but they’re mighty cute. I just wish they were a bit heavier, you know? They need to be able to serve some sort of a purpose. Personally, I’d use these to throw right at someone’s head and clock ‘em right between the eyes. But you need some weight for it to do any real damage… I like your outfit by the way!”
She walked away so casually that I’m not sure she knows she spoke those words aloud. To a stranger.
(seen above: me, the victim and witness of aforementioned statements, in a homemade IKEA costume because I am not just a consumer – I am a creative)
pro-whimsy agenda 