The Rock Bottom Bus Stop
This could go a few different ways. If this is our first date and you intentionally took me to a remote bus stop with a limited time table, sketchy clientele, and ominous lighting – I do have multiple friends already tracking my location and they will come rescue me if they don’t hear from me in an hour. Freak.
On the other hand, if we already know each other – we’ve vetted the vibes and don’t fear that one of us is on the verge of a violent psychotic break – this place has the energy of a beautiful, emotionally bonding night.
Imagine we grab a few vending machine snacks and sit on the ground cross-legged butt-to-butt. Perhaps we laugh, cry, and share our deepest, most repressed childhood memories with one another. Some of the best bonding experiences I have ever had have been on creepy park benches in the middle of the night, stuck somewhere we didn’t intend to be, just crying together.
Let’s do that.
The Prom
You had someone else in mind for tonight who either cancelled on you or declined the offer, and I know that. It’s alright. I can be your long, tall, and handsome tonight. I can be whoever you need me to be, whatever you want. Just know that I will never be him.
Bar Hopping
You’re probably not as much of a partier as the person you’re pretending to be at the start of this date. You’re nervous and a drink or two will help you loosen up. We can probably get into the Salty Spitoon, not based off our looks but because we both ask nicely and treat the bouncer with respect. We are on a first name basis with him before we leave for the night, but after one drink we both admit that we’re both honestly craving a sundae and perhaps a ween at Jrs. We head out early and promise to visit Reg again soon.
The Kuddly Krab
You text me a few hours before we had planned to meet-up to let me know that you got us reservations at this exclusive pop-up you know the manager at.
It’s a themed, retro inspired place with a young hotshot creative behind the vegan omakase menu. You insist that it’s absolutely to die for, you’ve been watching their Insta reels for days and can’t wait. You just can’t imagine going there without a beautiful girl like me by your side (smooth).
Our lunch is cool and the restaurant is interesting, but I have a tough time understanding what exactly it is that you do for a living, you’re really vague about your actual role but very clear about your earnings. And the company you work for. It’s definitely big tech.
The Workers’ Uprising
One with the people, you are an advocate for worker’s rights, let’s spend our afternoon sticking it to the man (Mr. Krabs) and talking about our mutual disdain for capitalism. You already know half the people at this protest from previous picket lines – what a social butterfly you are! You also brought a blunt to share with the class.
This is where you are truly at your hottest and you know it.
Inside a box
Well, well, well… show me what you have in mind! 😉 I love a date out in nature, totally free of charge – with this option, the world is truly our oyster. Let’s bring our own picnic, eat inside the box, we can go anywhere, be anyone, provide our own soundtrack and be the main characters to our own movie.
I like your whimsy, would you care to join my cult?
pro-whimsy agenda 